Over the last few years, I’ve been looking for analogies for the variability of life in the world around us.
Some parts of life have four recurring seasons. Some are standalone films. Some are like a mini-series. Overall, it’s like a train that starts and stops, with varying passengers staying on for different lengths of time.
The last 2–3 months haven’t been easy. They felt like an unexpected storm that only comes around once a century. I’ll write about the details in a separate post, but this one is meant to be a meta-reflection.
The simplest way to capture it is that it’s been humbling.
Striking the right balance between being apologetic and sincere while still having confidence and conviction can cause the ego to grow and shrink in different ways.
My biggest reflection over the past few months is how grateful I am for the support system of friends and family I have, alongside the luck that the Universe has brought my way.
Capability, grit, resilience, and work ethic form a necessary foundation. But without a support system and the right amount of luck at the right time, they’re not enough.
I can say that luck favors the prepared mind. I could also say that it’s in your power to increase your surface area of luck. There are too many factors involved in bringing the luck you need at the right time and place.
I’m capable, curious, resourceful, and have a mission-driven work ethic. I have a high tolerance for pain, to a fault. But grit and a high tolerance for pain don’t necessarily equal resilience if you break along the way.
A combination of these qualities has previously led me to presume that someone not achieving their goals isn’t putting in enough effort. I scoffed at complacency and inadvertently developed an ego I wasn’t proud of.
After this recent storm, I find myself defaulting to empathy. It’s not just a willingness but a deep desire to help. It is much more likely that someone is capable and doing their absolute best, but is either missing the proper support system or getting unlucky too many times in a row.
It took a long and painful time to get here, but I made it. I’m not the sort of person who can say: “I’m so glad it happened.”
It did turn out for the best. I’m more than grateful for the result. It taught me a lot of hard lessons. It helped me reconnect with old friends. But I don’t wish this upon anyone.
The one thing I have yet to learn is how to stop being so hard on myself. That lesson is much more difficult.